Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Reds star Elly De La Cruz homers after learning of the death of his sister - AP News

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why are right-wing commentators spreading conspiracy theories about Haitians eating local pets in Springfield, Ohio?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

'Mountainhead' Is Most-Watched HBO Original Film Since 'Bad Education' - Deadline

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s Official: Dolphins and Orcas Have Passed the “Point of No Return” in Their Evolution to Live on Land Again - The Daily Galaxy

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

SSRIs Restore Brain Function in Alzheimer’s - Neuroscience News

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Do people of NYC drive around Central Park all the time? Is there any subway tunnel to cross the park quickly? Is it annoying for people and does it cause traffic?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Omada Health Shares Soar After IPO as GLP-1 Drugs Fuel Interest - WSJ

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Study shows that early humans climbed trees and worked with stone - Earth.com

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

ASCO day 2: A tragic paradox, Gilead updates, and lots of Pfizer news - statnews.com

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

South Korea’s Venus-focused cubesat advances as larger missions face NASA cuts - SpaceNews

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes

Broadcom CEO On VMware Renewals, VCF Customers And Tomahawk 6 - CRN Magazine

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I can read

What are some cool confidence hacks?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists